We have been home now for  few days.  Fortunately it has been Josh’s weekend so we have both caught up on sleep we missed during the hospital ordeal.   Jonas is sleeping well, albeit on tylenol, but I have a feeling that he will be less fussy in general when he heals, as he probably has had some discomfort from the hernia prior to the acute time that required surgery.  Tonight we are hosting small group at our house, we’re looking forward to finally having people over again, it’s been since before Jonas was born that we hosted.  I start work tomorrow.  I’ll be working on wednesdays and saturdays, though there is some flexibility there too if I need to change a day.  I have care for Jonas worked out for the first week, but am still looking for a permanent solution.

I feel like we have a lot of challenges going for us right now.  The stress of returning to work (I know it’s only two days a week).  The medical problems Jonas has had, his 20% chance of having his hernia return and his 50% chance that he will loose one of his testes (we’ll know for sure in early June).  The medical bills that continue to roll in from my leg, labor and delivery, and eventually from the surgery this weekend; and my feeling that if I’m working outside the home it should be more in-line with what I specifically feel called to do -actual 1:1 therapy.

Despite all of this I generally feel pretty optimistic about life.  I am reminded that God has provided for us throughout our life together and it’s my job to trust that God knows what we need and will provide it, not to tell him what we need.  His provision has been generous.  We have never wanted for the basics, food, shelter, transportation.  And we have been given many of the desires of our hearts; traveling, living in Alaska, working and living at Cascades, a Masters degree for me, a sense of peace and a desire to grow and always learn more, close relationships with our families, wonderful friends and of course, Jonas.

I’ll try my best to remember all his gifts to us as I head back to work tomorrow.  For as much as I want to stay home, I know that a job and a second income is one of his greatest provisions to our family right now.

Jonas’ first smile post-surgery (it took a couple of days to return); and our curious cutie!

I work on-call for a mental health agency in the big city, and have been working night shift sporadically ever since I returned post leg break. Work will be changing in the next two weeks as we move location and method of service delivery.  I am thankful for the job, but am concerned about so much change right before the baby gets here.  I have also been hired on two days a week as a therapist at another mental health agency in t-town, and will begin training for that on the 25th. It will be nice to have set hours, but again, stressful amidst the pending delivery Luckily both of my employers are aware of the baby and intend to give me time off when he comes, though it’s without pay, so I won’t be able to go more than a few weeks-maybe a month.  At least it’s not full time. 

Just yesterday I noticed that I can see movement through my belly when the baby moves.  I find this very exciting and have caught myself spending minutes staring at my midsection waiting for another bump.  I have resolved to try not to do this in very public places.

On another topic, I left work a little early the other night as I had a cold and was feeling very crummy.  It was a night shift so I got home at around 4am to discover that Josh had put away all of the christmas decor, including the tree, had cleaned the house, assembled the crib and cleared out the nursery of clutter that had accumulated over the holidays.  It was a delightful suprise and coupled with the baby shower that I had attended earlier in the day was a huge reminder about the changes that are mere weeks away.  It was lovely to sit  in the chair in the nursery and contemplated our son, our life together so far, and all the events, suprises, and challenges Josh and I have to look forward to as we embark on parenting.

The christmas tree is up, and the days are almost ready to start getting longer…thank the Lord!  I am feeling very optimistic about my leg healing, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to walk in the boot by the end of the year.  I occasionally practice a few steps without crutches. Today is exactly one month since I broke my leg, and I decided it was a great time to get back behind the wheel.  So after a brief test drive around camp I drove myself into town and ran a few, very short errands, one of which required a drive-up so I didn’t have to get out of the car .  I have told my employer that I will return to work on Monday.  Thankfully I am only scheduled for two shifts a week, so I’ll get to ease back into it;  It has been at least a month since I was awake for more than 12 hours at a time, and work will require far more than that .  Pregnancy is going well, we have 11 weeks until we get to meet him!  Our little boy (who remains un-named) kicks and wiggles constantly, which is very fun.