Josh is 28 today.  We were reminiscing and I think we have celebrated his last 13 birthdays together, as I’m pretty sure I recall being at his 16th birthday party. I’m beyond thankful for all the time we have had together, and how with God’s grace we have grown together over the years.  He is a great example to me of someone who pursues his goals, and interests, makes thoughtful decisions and seeks God’s will for his life.  Over the last 5 weeks I have had the pleasure to observe that he is not only a great husband but a loving and compassionate dad.  Jonas and I are blessed to have him.  Happy Birthday Honey!

What can I say, my critters love me….and Brando and Petunia have no doubt felt slightly neglected the past two weeks, but also curious about the new noisy wiggle worm that smells soooo interesting!

We had a great weekend, with a visit from Hannah and Jordan and Heather and Karl!  I prepped Jonas by telling him that these are mom and dad’s friends that love him already and will be part of his life forever!  I love knowing that he will have numerous wonderful adults influencing him as he grows up. I’m so thankful to have so many wonderful friends that I can rely on (and have already relied on) for advice, encouragement, prayers, and practical help.  All of you who read the blog, and many of you who don’t all make me feel like I have a huge, loving extended family (even bigger than my actual huge, loving extended family ).

And here are some of my favorite pictures from the weekend.  (notice that Grandpa Jerry could not keep his eyes open!)

My leg has made great improvements since I last posted.  I have been walking around the house without my boot for the last few days and today I was able to wear shoes on both feet for the first time!  I am working 30 hours this week and next, so my days will get busier.  I am very relieved to be able to move around better, though my limp is still quite pronounced, and I plan to finally organize the nursery, clearing out the dresser and closet we have in there and in general de-cluttering our house, I see a trip to the Goodwill in my future.  

Though I am sad that the holidays and all the festivities are over, this week is a big one.  I have an ortho appointment on friday, and will get referred for PT and see current x-rays.   And Josh and I begin our birthing class this thursday evening!

I’m writing this in the middle of a truly winter scene.  The sun is low in the sky casting beautiful light into the kitchen, despite the fact that it’s only 1pm.  The dog is curled up as close to the wood stove as he can get, trying to warm his bones after playing outside in the 15 degree weather.  And the cat is purring, having found a warm place to sleep, after first trying out the keyboard and the desk.

Despite the beauty of the winter scene, and the several days of sunshine, it has been a challenging few weeks.  It began when I broke my leg walking in the woods around the house.  This was followed by a 4-night hospital stay, surgery, and many days spent with my leg elevated on the couch.   It has not been easy and my emotions have been fragile as I am forced to alter all aspects of my life for my traitorous bones.   In the midst of my frustration there have been numerous people who have been a great encouragement and practical help.  Josh has risen to the challenge and been the best partner I could imagine, bringing me everything I need, endless pillows, icepacks and cups of water, starting fires to keep me warm, coming home at lunch to care for me each day, and when his last weeks of school were taking all his time in the evening, arranging for friends to stop by and check on me.  He has let me be sad but always focused on any progress I have made, emphasizing that this too will pass.

Friends in Yelm have made multiple visits to the house, brought several meals and even arrived with cleaning products in hand and cleaned our entire house.  Claudia has walked Brando each day and come over most evenings to check on me. Friends farther away have called frequently to check in, and when able made the long trek to see me.  The Rogers helped Josh and I settle in at home when we first left the hospital and loaned us a great deal of medical equipment.  The Sommermans provided great care through the long Thanksgiving weekend, even giving up their downstairs master bedroom for the 5 nights we were there.

The fact that I am most grateful for is that despite all the medication, sedation, and trauma, our son, not yet born, has been unharmed.  As I lay on the couch I pass a lot of time attending to his kicks and wiggles, scarcely comprehending what life will be like when he arrives in 12 short weeks.  I fear for myself- that I won’t yet be healed, that the pain I experienced with my leg will pale in comparison to labor, that my low moods will be difficult to handle, and that with a baby in the house our patients with one another will wane.

Listing the blessing that I have experienced amidst my leg breaking is evidence that despite my frustration we are in the hands of a loving God.  One who does not intend for bad to happen to his children, but promises us that he will work all things together for good, for those that love him and are called according to his purpose.  I don’t know if “work together of good” equals “work together for best” as I have seen too many irreconcilable tragedies happen to loved ones to ever believe that our pain can be mended with doctrine and words.  The mystery of healing remains that…a mystery, but the weaver of this tale is Christ; and despite my confusion and discontent I’ll keep trying to rest in him.